As The Sage Burns

something old something new

2011-05-16T01:25:00.002-05:00

all this time chasing shadows of what i thought was was who i really was... i had run so far away from it for ten years that i though going back to who i was when i was 17 would be the fastest way to get back to what i really wanted to be. Hmm no onder i find myself with similar thoughts, the same thought i had when i decided it was time to grow up. I have forsaken the old gods and the gods of the new age only to return to Ha Shem, the G-d of my people. I have put down the alcohol and the drugs and wonder of wonders my mind has cleared... suprise suprise. I have met someone so astoundingly sweet and smart and loyal that i cant imagine doing anything but being my self and honest at to lend this soul strength on their journey. I still refuse to work for the government, but thats ok. I have been taking care of my grandfather for a few months till he died of cancer. Now i just sit and watch the clowds pass by during the day and watch the stars pass by at night. keeping my ears open for the distant call of the cyotees. and the quail. and if i get lucky a wild hog... i have killed 9 of them so far, we all have to do our part.

after you have been hurt so bad in the past it is hard and scarry to open your heart and honestly confront the world around you. or at least i find it to be that way. my love is 1000 miles away doing what my love must to feel obidient to my loves calling. and i face jelosy and doubts, but the more i patiently face those feelings feelings of trust and peace and understanding grow in along side them, gentally shadeing them from the sun of fear.

I also am gardening in a non metaphorical way. the frost hit me hard a couple times but things are picking up now. i have fresh greens any time i want them, but as they get larger they get bitter, so i maybe have to cook them longer? soon they will be producing sweet turnips, i dont really know what to do with 100 turnips, sell them right under the nose of the fda i suppose, eat the rest, let my lover can them, oh well, things are alot calmer now that i have been off the road for 5-6 months. not much else to say, even though i have out grown the anger and hatred of prievous post i wont delete them, i will just continue to be myself and see where that takes me. thanks to everyone i met along the way and all their kind words, thanks to sarah handyside for all her harshness, but she is a rare soul in these times and i see her value. i will be carrying on in the way that seems best if G-d wills i tarry ;) and maybe i will even post again.

"Thrill with lissome lust of the light" Aleister C.

2011-01-06T15:45:00.004-06:00

Well the sun is slowly making its way back to a place it came from and my hibernation is almost over. I love the darkness of this time of year to reflect on things that take a little longer to reflect on than time you may be willing to give in the bisy midsummer. I also have been thinking longer in these days, Hatred or love full time is not my scene. I enjoy the release i feel from being able to ack and vocalize my angers hurts frustrations, but I dont feel that way all the time. Neither can i say that I look in the dead souless eyes full of hatered and lust that pass me in the street and intertain a false feeling of love for these loathsome creatures. At this stage in the game there is no moral lawa dangeling itself efore my eyes in attempt to lure me out of my own feelings to disolve it in to the bliss of G-d for the benifit of all creation. no. I am a natural creature, everything i do is natural, eat, talk, shit, love,hate fuck,lingualy palpate the perineum,build mcdonalds,lie about going to the moon,and destroy our selves with nuclear annialation,all naturally :)so concepts of good better bad are now understood as I like that. I dont like that. Should i be doing something else right now? maybe you think i have a responsibility to anyone but myself right now, so i should pay attention to them? listen, If i did what I though I "should" it woould be a shit samwitch, buleave that.

Any hoot. Besides the ranting i do to entertain my self and think im soo cute, i see beauty in everything, and am suprised by everything i look at. like really how did we think all this was going to end nicely? concerning the apocalyps, itsoo is last summer. I already had mine, it was lovely. hurry have yours get it overwith and we can have something to talk about while we rebuild together..
moe foe realler than that i couldent even dream of. the berfect beauty of creation is wholly equal to the sustaintion and even yet moreso if it could be imagined before it happened, the distruction creats entirely new spaces to precieve that with our currant setup is different.

well here is a nice juicy terd in the middle of your rainbow family trail brother bear.

What do you think i care about...?

2010-12-05T23:49:00.002-06:00

I wander the roads of amerika bacause I am alive now and I can. I use all the magik i was born with to make that happen, White Beautiful, Clever.... its not my fault estemes what I was born of. How can i change anything done before me? I wouldent if i could. Intitled white people... fuck off im not going to hate my self and force guilt upon myself because you do... I chose this body... not you... destroy yours if you hate it. destroy mine if you hate it.. But jelosy may be more fitting of a jurnal.

I feel A dramatic shif in my awareness and have been given new tools for my work. these are not tools as you may assume. Do you thin i am spoiled and elite? do you really know me? your annomys comments elicit less emotion than if it had some weighty name behind it, some name that has done something. I am ELITe...not because my eyes shine like a crystal sea? is it because the red, grey, brown, blond hairs on my body reflect the rainbow in the suns light as it catches upon my laugh at the failurs of others and also how they rise. Do you base your life of a culture of being a victum? Do you feel oppressed by my cousins? unless i personally have oppressed you I care even less. I do what I can according to my desires.
Leaving you? I have never joined you, I was as free as a bird chaind by its fear and hunger when you first learned of me. and when the last puff of stale smog infused air leaves this carcas of rot and desease it will be for the better in my eyes.
as i red in a silent grove on a ridge somewhere... "What means death in this rude assualt?" Speak openly if it is understanding you seek. If only assumption the carry on with your dreams... There is a market for them all around you, maybe your hatred will help you in your assent, I doubt you can face your own darkness and return... over and over and over, But this is only based on how I also will assume you are based on what would i be if i went to someones blog and wrote as much jibberish as this.
But all of us are one, I just seem to reflect back some foul things upon myself, yea, it verily seeks me out.

Fools

2010-11-29T11:02:00.002-06:00

Well, I have been for some time trying to decide if love and hate, either my own dream or that of the new age. And I have basically decided to forsake the new age with all its beliefs as I feel it is the next global control religion. All the people I know who are newager are fairly dogmatic and judgemental, and I travel some pretty liberal circles, ill tell you that again. And I just dont feel there is anythin to all this shit. Karma? who the fuck would willingly choose to believe in something where you get punished for unremembered lives and there is some vague set of morals judging all you do... fuck krishna, vishnu, your guru, your stupid ideas. I will carry on my heathen ways, not claiming any right wrong. But Fuck All this faschist shit going on anyway.. I will write something interesting latr I hope. We are in Ga getting our asses pampered then getting some pass port, then catch a boat off this fucking hellhole. Leave you shitbags with your obama... i know your stupid ass voted for him. You goddamned lemming, you WILL believe anything anyone tells you eh?

short and dirty

2010-11-12T18:31:00.001-06:00

well i suppose we are planning to go to north carolina. Should be fine. see you this winter in the south

I have nothing to say

2010-07-15T10:40:00.003-05:00

well things change, like my view. vanessa and i hitched from nashville north to new york city... may the skys rain down fire and destruction on that shitfuck. WE danced sang got fuked up, slept in the infinate rainbow house, summoned the dark rainbow of the apocalypse. We loveingly jaunted from there out of east orange in newark down the 280 north through the beautiful state of new jersey. It really is a beautiful state up there through 15. From 15 we got on the old army of the republic highway 6 to the coal devestated mts of pennsylvania. WE went to the second northern most WAFFEL HOUSE in the us! but the diddent sell DR pepper!!!! If that bitch wasnt so sweet i would have fucked shit up hard. Now we are in burlington vermont... my writing is not so good cause i need to smoke a bowl...1 min ok... better closer warmer@ shit.... This town if a faschist liberal hell hole with the sigles to prove it, in the square at a ww1 memorial stella there is an eagle loving holding the fasci in its loving claws. There is a specific brand of green guilt obfucation here as i suspect is everywhere, but think of it like this if you will, I figure that i save af few tens of thousand tons of coal by not having home and some odd multiplication of gas with the no car..and uhhh yea i got carbon credits,,, i hate a fuking hippy telling me not to litter?!?!? is it because once you put your plastic patrolium based box from your over priced organic sushi in the garbage or recycling does its dissaperance from your sight remove your guilt from being complicit in the rape of the earth ? any way ciggerett buts are paper and tobacco yea cemicals, but dont eat modern food if you dont like chemicals mathafahku... i will toss everything i own in the fukin ocean if you try to tell me not too.. you drive and dump oil in my gulf! But fuck it. im glad it happened, cause that where all you rich fucker live that ran me out of your town this past winter while all i could do was enjoy the view, glad i went to key wet before the oil cause now i know those fuckers deserve it! ohhh booo hooo i cant eat clams.. wah wha get fucked and die, the APOCKUYLIOPS IS upon you. eat simg kill mama be thyself. I magikally relase you from the elders spell, dream your own dream, cats may fight in the year of the tigre, Black up, bitch. It aint all White. Well other that the people consumer based liberal fascism, but hey as long as i can say what i want and sit on church st and not panhandle aggresivly not panhandle. smile with a sign well here is the video. and we got 1500 $ in ticketts for basiclly athat... anyway the Fucking Yanks don't like an Nbomb dropped intheir living room.y666666666666666666677666666666 OTUS I got 750$ tickett and so did vanessa for agresssivly panhandeling and sober and disorderly conduct or cunduct unbecoming of a civillian or some fuktastic shit.
Besides that we have a ride out tomorrow to boston i hope, I gotta get out of this liberal fascist hell hole. and on to bigger and better things. We did have Pizza with greg and the little bike shop of hortaculture. Loving yall, except for the hipsters... Vanessa wants to fuck the smug look off your faces, bunt not me sugar ass, i wanna taze you a few times. and steal your cool shues.

some thoughts from the mt.

2010-04-07T11:45:00.003-05:00

Here i am , spring time in the magikal mts of tenn. there have been many revelations to myself recently
like for example, i dont have to stop and figure out what my mission is, I just need to keep on doing what
I thought I should before I stopped following my bliss and followed my head.
things are looking up. I have another ambitious year. I need to get my id's and try to get a passport. But besides that
its going to be another year for following the Gods and Goddess where ever they lead, Giving offerings to PaPa Legba at the crossroads and cemataries,
and trying to find the codes and master codes hiddin in this life time planet.
So while I am here I want to be working on some medicinal herb salves, working on making some magikal items and writing
things down and getting my mind and heart right for the summer. I entend to follow my bliss
as much as I can, we are living in less than 1,000 day culture so things are popin all around up.
Unfortunatly I cant give all my energy to the illusions of babylon while the
Energetic spiritual revolution is happening all around us. people are waking up and like in my case rewaking over and over.
Trying to make the right decisions is at times a night mare, I feel some alternate programing in my soul compared to most people. So I am going to be true to my soul and what I feel to be the right decision for me and ignore the
rules and ethics of the society we live in not in all things, like I am not going to steal from people or anything like that. But just know that the values of this joke of a world as pushed by the neo cons /christian/and other undesirables is notlonger a option. I will follow my honor till the Ragnarok. For soon all socitey built on the black wizards illusions for the sake of oppressing the poor and ugly and slavery will fall.There will be empty cells in fancy neighbour hoods all the way to the ghettos in a defening hush. And I dont pretend that I have everything worked out that i could to survive the fall,
But I know camping is not a sustainable option,

Like check out the rainbow family living light, of which I am a member,although I dont think the point was ever to just sit in the woods wearing the same clothes and talking the same, thinking your better than the blind of whom many in the church are still. All these kids think its about the gathering, like they are not babylon just because they use some cliche manner of speaking and camp in drunken drug induced clusters... coming into town every so often to get the things they do not create from babylon. I am not free of the guilt of this living. But I am not blinded by the illusion that I free, If you are not growing food where you live it is not a sustainable situation, so just stop playing games with your mind and others who may not e smart enough to figure that out on their own.
Free as a bird maybe. I may go almost where I please but I am still (in a menner of speaking) chained buy my desires and needs. So I will be wandering the highways and byways, maybe some farms... but im not sure about any gatherings. This could change. its all only thoughts.

2010-04-07T11:45:00.000-05:00

spring part 2

2010-03-30T12:43:00.003-05:00

So I got a ride from a cute elderly couple, they asked me many questions about the trail, having never hiked it I was forced to make up answers to all his questions. The confusion was as thick a pea soup you could eat it like a popscicle. I got dropped off at the waffel house there in ptown there and hitched out. There was a light sprinkeling of rain there in the lowlands between the mts. a woman picked me up to take me to Hiawasee where a store clerk lent me her permanent marker to tidy up my sign. I walked about 3 or four miles down the road where i got a short 1/2 mile ride from a pickup truck... had I any gas money they would have taken me further. "If I wanted to have money for gas I wouldent have abandonded my car you meth starved voultures!" I waited for a while when I got picked up by two cherokee people. "Are you an axe murderer?" they asked I said no, "are you any kind of murderer?" no I said again and got into the midsized suv. As they pulled of they started laughing, "you dident ask if we were murderers.." the laughed. I told them they looked to cute to be murderers. Ther dropped me off in hayseville and I walked to the grocery right there at the end of town, hitching west. In which direction the nativs told me would take me right into asheville. The ekies still gave light drizzelings and since i had already had about 4 rides I felt lucky. Maybe I could make it there by tonight I thought. I stuck out my thumb, about an hour later a young gent in a jeep or something picked me up. He told tales of traveling the entire peremiter of the usa by thumb carrying a couple of pounds of weed to pay for food and such, he seemed lightly understanding of my plight so i trusted him when he doped me at the base of Franklin mt there right before you get into Nanthahala ther on 64. Almost as soon as I got out of the car I had the feeling that I messed up, and pretty badly. The skies darkened and it started raining like crazy. I was familar with the doors song rider on the storm.. so I started walking the 7 or more miles up the mt to franklin after about 4 hours and hundreds of cars later I was a bit teary eyed and decided to stop for a refreshing drink out of the side of the mt, the water was amazing. I enjoyed it even as my foot sank below the mud. I sloshed on in the rain and thunder for another hour enjoying the view till an older couple picked me up. "Thank the Gods!!" I shouted. They took me to the huddle house in Sylva where I called my friend natalie and offered her my last 12 dollors to come and get me and take me the last 47.7 miles to asheville. Where I write this. I will be heading back almost the same way to get to chatanooga and maybe huntsville.more as it develops.

sun march 21 day aofter spring pt 1

2010-03-24T19:07:00.004-05:00

Started by being woke up by a pack of U.S. Eagle scouts of some make, mocking the color of my teal tent. Before this bemused prepubescent mockery was out of earshot, the slow howl of a big wind echoed off the north face of Blood Mt. and I knew that I had little time to get packed up before the rapidly moving grey clouds dumped their juicy load. The rain started A few minutes before i had my gear stowed. It was a short 1 mile down going SB on the AT a lovely camping spot, with my 65 lb pack it was taxing even with all my normal walking . But the day before I was walking from De Soto falls to the top of the pass. a steep 3 miles. by walking on the side of the highway. about half a mile up I gave up and sat down to a fine medicinal herbal organic smoke, followed by a good chemical Marlboro snipe cigarette. I stuck out my thumb occasionally but as it was a sunny day enjoying the sight of De Soto Falls, and the Great Smoky mts on a sunny day I wasn't in any hurry. A family picked me up in a jeep. When the back hatch opened for my pack I asked if I could put my backpack on a pile of walking sticks. "It wont hurt them." It was a beautiful ride. When they let me off at Neels Gap there were hikers standing around fire barrels on this beautiful pass looking north west I could see a great Blue Ridge. He gave me one of the beautiful walking sticks a Wolf Ridge Original that him and his family make. Made of mt. Laurel, The Old Timers say its dangerous, but it aint either!. it sure helped me up and down the ridge just north of Hiawasee Inn. Which was where I was headen. After breakfast I walked out to Neels Pass just 2 lanes and dense fog and light rain to hitch threw north Ga.s Smokey Mountains to North Carolinas Nantahala Cherokee Homeland. The wind was so fast right there where I was standing. it blew in alternating clear and rain and fog threw the mts. so that some times you could see far off mts and clouds racing the ridges and over to the other side. After about 30 mins I got another ride. To a town called Blairsville.....to be continued.

Whoop Whoop!!!

2010-02-24T11:50:00.005-06:00

ok soon the scrub posse will be leaving the island in a week or so soon as Baby haystack gets her puppy and my book comes in today or tomorrow. We plan to find the coolest shues and go visit your kids in colledge all before the great state of alabama picks me up on my warrants and sends me to the hoosegow. Also there is some plans for the fancy hiking of the AT this spring and the trek all the way to vermont nh and maine as i have already said before.That should go well.well. Here in town that girl I wrote about yesterday got arrested An im gonna blow up her shit, jus like i would be wont to do for all my enemies

So anyway things are fresh here just waiting to leave this town. I got the lunar almanac for 2010 this morning can i get out of key west with out jail time... perhaps. hit me up yall.

good,bad,ugly

2010-02-23T09:36:00.004-06:00

So I decided to get drunk due to the extra monies i made and have a klonipin and shit. Well Everything was going swimmingly. I was partying with all the street kids and my lady friend Emilee, when the black out must have set in. Well I ended up grabbing my shit and told emilee to go away right when this fat heifer named billie hoe of street slime asks this guy for the time. "Fuck you cunt" was his reply. Obviously she wasn't smart enough to shut the fuck up cause after that the raging cunt asked him for change.... he punches her in the mouth like she probably deserved. I try to get involved but due to the incredible difficulty posed to me by the ingestion of benzoes alcohol and weed. I was not much help and got a bottle broken over my head and my eye gouged. I think It would have been better if it happened to her but we cant change the past now can we. So we made our way to sleep in the cemetary as is to my liking and I jacked off and went to sleep. Not very glamorous but its my life. So now cause I shew unto this cunt a sleeping spot and blacked out with a head wound I crank out some knuckle babies she wants to tell erebody im a creep well thats fine, I still don't give two squirts of camel piss about the feelings of some people. Here is her mug shot

Key Fucking west...eh?

2010-02-10T12:35:00.003-06:00

So I got here via traversing matter spell. Rather quickly I might add. But the muggles in this village are of the worst order. So unable to call up or summon their own energy. They endlessly run around after the closest thing they can to real energy...money. So much attention they give this paper. Too bad the collecting of these things add nothing to their personality. I have met people with millions of them and for all their large collection they can still be ascribed no title higher than non magical slime. So people around here warn me this is a pirate island... then they act weak, not is not physical although some times. But in the mind. They tell me You are too full of pride, and ego, and tell me that I have a god complex.... Its all true. My path requires me to think exceeding highly of myself. Better? No. More important to myself, Yes, with out a doubt. There are soo many people here on this Island though that I love and would always give of myself to, till they shew themselves to be unworthy. any way My business cards came in the mail today, all i need is one more ingredient then i can finish the return spell. I am looking forward to this. Dwelling in a non magical society can wear on your mind and throw off the left handed delicate balance of love and hate and pleasure and pain.

Lucifer Son of the Morning...

2010-02-04T12:45:00.003-06:00

After a long walk down the heart of Florida we finally gets to the Keys... fucking police state island.. I spend days walking up and down duval, Loitering down by the pier.. Having magikal rituals.. we had a lovely Imbolc just the other Day Well i did anyway, I am meeting few truly wonderful people, which is surprising to me. I really did not even expect to meet any. Well at least the video of Oprah denying Christ cheers me up. I myself have taking to an adversarial left hand path of late. I debated scripture with a xtian recently. He refused to succumb to a flawless train of logic as is their custom to avoid, so i quoted the jesus passage about give to him that asks of you. so he says I gave all my money out tonight, so I told him i wanted his bible, this really got him, but i took it full of precious underlinings and maybe years of foolish thoughts and memories horded in their pages, emily was heart broken just watching me tear out pages and toss it in the trash all the while he yelled he loved me... A pitiful lot the Xtians. To me the most beautiful part of that story is my lack of remorse. No I do not have to respect everyone's beliefs. The world where that kind of thing is almost over. And a new world is on the Horizon, A world where one needs not feel compeled to freely give energy to those who only long to feast on it while giving nothing back. As of this imbolc I accepted my own initiation into the Mysteries of the morning star.

embraceing hypocracy

2009-12-23T12:24:00.002-06:00

well, i guess, i solved another delema... worrying about what others think aside. I have some views that are..... lets just say out side the political mainstream. But understanding that the system does indeed run on fear, and that fear of the police runs high these days, i say fuck the police and those that fear them. I also say this to crimethinc, if you are in a hypocritical delima about having to sell your books to get your message out, dont worry i promise to steal every one i can get my hands on, that frees you to worry about bigger things, like unfucking your selves and the mindless followers who swollow everything you feed them with out a single indipendant thought, why do i say this? am i ignorant? a reactionary possiably? no i am doing what you preach, i am stealing your books and using every little shiny terd i find in them to inhance my own fragrance...well, i may not believe that god created everyone equal.. but hay i am willing to destroy thing for your mind numming right to thing you are equal to me or what ever, we could live on the same land and i would help you as much as i could but the thing is I will not be told what to think, by our cholacate commander in cheif or you mask wearing fashonistas... if you dont like me thinking for myself come slide me in a manhole cause thats the only way you are going to stop me... and cnn go fuck your selves you are all a bunch of (niggers=ignorant persons) to me! Freedom, its fucking delicious!

blue listed

2009-11-24T12:51:00.002-06:00

well i was going to make some kind of anti governmental rant about the flaws of oligarchical slavery and amerikan death camps but instead i just decided to burn shit and destroy things. I am currently going under the radar i hope but i hope the surgery to turn me into a greek nun goes well, if it dosent they may just come and drag me off in my sleep...who you might ask....... an army of flesh eating collegiate zombies , i showered today so that they dont get too use to my smell and conditioned my beard as well. my panths still smell like pee pee though but that is the least of my concerns, my ex wife is going to try to sue me for child support but due to the fact that i am a jobless crazy hobo vet maybe its better for everyone involved if i not be extraditeed... but what evez. Had i a job i would be paying but obama promised me change so panhandeling is where i plan to weather the soiled worl economie, i guess i could send the court house how much i make in change but how are they going to get their greasy fucking fingers on it before i turn it into whiskey and drugs.... well these and the moral problems i face on the daily, does jane francis paulin know that i am a bum and that i am eating out of garbage and sleeping on churches with my 19 yo girlfriend? to be honest i dont give two squirts of camel piss but if one of you wants to tell her i guess that id be fine by me, hell i will probably be getting drunk and having a hobo porno on a dirty ol southbound by then anyway so...um what was i saying again, of yea, how they can arrest you for not paying child support when you dont even have a job blows me mind. but hell as currupt as this system is and the little lemmings that play in it why should i act supprised. hell jane makes 19$ an hour as a casheer at the huntsville alabama costco, i make about 30 dollars a day on a bad day of sitting on my pissy ass and asking for money for a vasectmy so my kids dont have to ask your kids this same question. little do they know thay my ex jane tricked me into getting snipped before she left me for the guy she was cheeting on me with andrew cantrel of huntsville.... so i cant hold no grudge, if she wants to be the only one hunting me for money for the next 13 years than i guess, i will just join the proverbial temple and change my name to ramalama fuck you and you can find me sleeping half nekid under a bridge clutching my arsonel of skin lice and words dripping with hate. love you all

death to word press

2009-11-23T08:54:00.002-06:00

I give up, they have locked me out for the last time, So any way a dear sister hay and I came to florida, where all the landless peasant fucks here know about the impending government doom in the camps, there are mobile gas chambers set up on different corners of the city. We picked up another traveling partner bu\y the name of trashcan, he is a peach. Well its honestly just drunkl nights in this worthless sand bar of a state. All the anarchist i meet are just in to punk rock ...which i am of the opinion has been dead for years but the illusioned masses need different distractions, same illusion wont work on everyone. I guess the plan is to find a new pair of socks, then shamelessly beg from college kids untill they decide it is better to quit school and destroy stuff like we are doing. or what ever. So getting dreunk is on the menue for tonight. i hope. and i will write more later.

i had something in my mind a second ago.

2009-10-25T15:55:00.002-05:00

oh proper alone time. Quite a phrase isnt she? She just glides down your tounge like some exotic vanilla flavored silicone based lube.
But why is it that I have such a hard time being alone? Is it the boredom? as hay said I just need someone to bitch at. Well maybe thats so. I am not so sure. But at the risk of losing touch I cant spend long periods alone. hell I guess thats no excuseI was married to my x for 3 years... And I lost total contact with alot of things, the underground hobo party circut, protest and civil actions of disobedience. And I guee it has been over 6 years since trying to reconnect. But has my vision of reality changed? As I am just about smack dab into my Saturn return.So I am trying to do all this balancing and perfecting but with no clear view of what I am hoping to arrive at.
The only thing that is clear is the vision of my past. And I know I wont be visiting many of those places again.

Where do witches like me go?

2009-10-25T15:35:00.002-05:00

Ok so I have to basic frame outline of my trip. No rides lined up, noone to go to. Nowhere to belong. I feel like i should have stayed in Oregon for the winter after harvest. But now I am in indiana no mans land. People so separated from the real world I can scarcely communicate with them. I learned an interesting thing in indiana though. White people are still breeding in the rural areas of america. They may not be raising many of the children but boy are they having em, every girl i have met in this town over the last near month has a little one, or more. I guess due in part ot the boredom of living in this sleepy little place.
Well I have about run out of ideas and likely wont get more till i get stoned, which i am about to do right now....... I have damned near smoked all the reson out of this thing. Scratch that, i did just smoke the last bit. Well well well a filthy little beast you are old pal.
So as I wait in this void. I really am not sure where to turn my attention to. Go "hang out" with hippies? Go co-op with the anarchist? Go to idaho or montana and practice my rifle skills? There is no cut and paste answer. I am well suited for a few different ventures although how to wedge my obtuse self in to one of these tiny nooks is a mystery to me.

500 something miles

2009-10-25T15:32:00.001-05:00

Thats how far i need to hoof it to get to a place where i am not sure if i am wanted...hmm very peculiar.
If this cursed cold and rain never stop then i will be stuck at the border of indiana and michigan for a hot minute. Every time i get my motivation up... the radar says my path is fraught with danger. Rain, prisons ,
the midwest, the south, long days sleepless nights. then if i can make this trip a sandy nest for the winter. maybe a chance to do some real thinking. I dont really feel that i can avoid asheville , nor have i decided that i want to ignore it. there is a nice route from there to atlanta. but I have never hitched down the east coast. has anyone reading this done so? what was your experience? hmm I may have scored a ride to indy. That gives me a streight shot to ohio or louisville ky the 65 goes from indy to nashville and beyond. although the 74 leads to cinci and then south to knoxville and asheville..... quite the decision i have to make. and will have to do so in the rain apparently. channeling , invocation and all this feels like its going to be an epic experience. not because of the physical hardships rather the mental ones.spiritual ones too perhaps. I feel i may have error ed on my path recently which is why i am drained and stuck.
As a wise witch once said "Never trust another witch to hold your space."- L. Luxury That is something I should have heeded to. Well lessons are all over the place arnt they? All you gotta do is have a muse and pick a few lessons from the ether. All is in order. I am sewing up holes in my crotch and doing some other sewing maintenance, started a secret blog. and got more books...now where will i put those?

The heebiest of jeebies

2009-10-24T16:38:00.001-05:00

So many thing are going on in the world right now.
We have obama doing his thing to help the globalist enslave the world,
some places in this country people are cold. They had enough of people in some parts i reckon.Traveled over 6 thousand miles this summer. Met alot of good people. met some ass holes too. Hell I was even an asshole some. Its not what i set out to be but I have some anger and frustration just like the rest of em
I feel awful for the future of the people in this country. They have to large degrees
stopped thinking for them selves, stopped growing their own food and let big mama state give em a suckle off her own tit. Then it comes back around to me. I got out of the army in june of 08 I was a medic... "hell i was an anarchist tossing tools over fences, shredding papers every chance i got" i herd that said before. before that I ran away at 16 and hitch hiked across the country back and forth living with the amish,in temples,anarchist co-ops, that was the late nineties, ten years later im a divorcee vet who don't work for the state. I started back up on my bum ways, learning how to be free again, remembering who I was after I shed the games and illusions created by my own mind. But the heart seems to be led magnetically if you keep that rascle mind out of the equation.
Now I don't know where to go. The only thing running through my mind is A bottle of whiskey on the beach in south florida... Maybe.
hitchhiking in florida never was any fun as i can remember. And the people and cops really dont like homeless trying to live in their habitat. Hell I dont care about that though.
I am stuck in indiana right now, some little gal said she would bring me back next weekend. That was 3 weeks ago. I'm lazy and I don't like rain.. Funny thing for a houseless person to worry about. But thats all thats keeping me here. Im not sure what kind of things a person aught to be doing with his self as the world slides into chaos around him. Hell I guess just hang on as long as you can...

posts

2009-10-24T16:32:00.000-05:00

I have a difficult time thinking about the future, seeing it as something all together out of my control.
The past also gives me difficulty, it all done and untouchable but to the realm of memories.
The only thing I can think is the one I get stuck on and that living in this moment.
It's the only place I have power to control my reality.
I'm not casting the stink eye on planning, ive tried it its wonderful I should probably use some of my moments with that.
The Gods know I would likly be sitting on some south florida beach with a bottle of whiskey in my lap and a pack of smokes, neatly wrapped in a zip lock bag trying desperately but hopelessly to keep the sand out of everything I own including my ass.
Trying to worry about nothing but the rain and the cops rousting my gentle soul out of a drunken nap.
But no. I've been in fron of some computer most of the time reading, when im not reading or eating or something else.
I really dont know why im not...
Something about the rain or the prision on the highway im suppose to take to get to ohio then ky presumably looping around alabama to georgia, by way of north carolina that is. and they all got problems of their own.
I did have a test run.. Packed up my stinky moldy bag filled with my (according to my friend) stinky clothes and all my other stuff and it fit nicely. Felt good on my back.
But then one moment turned into another and cold nights and rain.
so im keeping my eyes on the stars and since its cloudy and too bright to see anything i use the computer to see em, and hopefully some alignment will prouduce a desired momentum.
its still warm alot of places yet, mid 80 even its 43 here with a light rain... not yet.
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